The Hunger Guide
by Pie 314
Summary: What do you get when you put two mice, one ruler of the Universe, six earthlings, a sucidal pig and two robots into the Reaping? The 1842nd HUNGER GAMES! With the Hitchikers characters. Warning- Thor may cause rain. Rated K for deaths.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi this is my 1st fic yey**

**disclaimer: i do not own the huger games or hitchickers guide to the galaxy or any of the characters**

The One Thousands Eight Hundred and Forty Second Hunger Games (1842):

We sat down around the small TV in the corner of the room. The day was cold and musty in the capitol like it was here. Except giant splatters of rain layered the arena. It always seemed this way on the first day of the Hunger Games. Lonely and unfriendly. On twenty four silver platforms stood an assortment of robots and people alike, and perhaps a few rats- but that's irrelevant. They all just stand there. Waiting. The commentary blares out of the small TV, and I hear Adam Douglas's voice:

"Hello and welcome to the one thousand eight hundred and forty second Hunger Games! We are hoping to see brutality, murder, treachery and hatred in its most evil forms, all for the course of your entertainment! So let's meet the contestants."

The camera rotates round in a blur of tributes to rest on two from District one.

"First up and straight from District One we have a very wet Thor and the glamorous Fenchurch. Then, from District two, we have the ex-governor of the universe- Zaphod! Accompanied by his arch enemy Zarniwoop!

"And fresh out of district three we have the legendary prophet Zarquon with that well known researcher Ford Prefect!"

Each name is read of and followed by applause- like a game show.

"And from District four we have that devious general Prostetnic Vogan Jelts and everybody's favourite security robot Colin! And on the District five platforms we, well do I really need to introduce this guy? Let's just say he's the ruler of the Universe!"

The camera spins around to land on a weedy old man who is clutching a cat to his chest and looks like he might be about to have a coughing fit.

"With his fellow tribute- the messenger of the forest Prak! And from District six we have Phouchg and Loonquawl, who received Deep Thoughts answer to Life, the Universe and Everything! Give 'em a clap ladies and gentlemen, as we look at district seven- who are just two of our many earthlings- Trillian and Arthur! But in District eight we have, none other than the best mice…"

Wait, did he say mice?

"Yes the best mice you've ever seen- Benjy and Frankie! From District nine, it's everybody's favorite philosophers Vroomfondel and Majikthise!"

I felt sorry- most of these guys wouldn't make it past Cornucopia, I mean the philosophers and the mice were as good as dead.

"Then from District ten it's that great author Oolon Colluphid, and that infamous road builder Mr Posser! And then there's our tributes from District eleven- who are also earthlings- Tricia and Gail! And, now lucky last, we have our tributes from District twelve- that miserable robot Marvin and the suicidal pig Dish of the Day!"

He paused to let the crowds cheer for the tributes. Then everything went silent. The silence began to ring in my ears. This was it. The One Thousands Eight Hundred and Forty Second Hunger Games were about to begin…

**So my fics gonna work a bit like the Hunger Games- where you can sponser the characters you like and give them stuff. So if you like Arthur you can give him like a sheild or something. Like Katniss got a parachute with the burn medacine in and stuff. Just write in the reveiw which character you like and what object they get. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**BYE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**so hope you have fun reading this story **

Chapter 2

The commentator's voice boomed 10, 9, 8, why the countdown lasted so long, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 the 24 tributes shot out of their positions launching into cornucopia.

"Prak from District 5 throws himself at Colin the security robot. They tumbled onto the floor rolling around. Suddenly the glamorous Fenchurch, who appears to have gained a bow, shoots an arrow straight through Prak and into Colin! This is getting nasty! And there she goes darting back into the battle field."

Adam Douglas explains.

"So that's one career down! Already! And here we have Prostetnic Vogan Jelts is fighting our fur hated friend Mr Posser, who appears to been equipped with an axe! Posser swips at Jelts, swinging the axe straight at his head. Jelts parries and comes back up to throw Posser of his feet. Now standing over him, Jelts kills Posser in one clean sweep of his sword, collects the axe and continues on his war rampage!

"The daring tribute Gail seems to be slowly creeping up to the middle of Cornucopia, after many of the tributes have fled from the careers. A spear lands on the ground beside her and, wow, it looks like she has been caught by Zarniwoop! Gail wrenches spear free and charges boldly at him. Zarniwoop deflects the blow with a shield and pulls out his dagger. And just as Gail raises his spear to launch a death blow Vroomfondel dives in the way! Vroomfondal has been fleeing from Thor's double edged axe! But he has jumped back into another battle. Gail finds that his spear has been thrust into Vroomfondel's flank, not at Zarniwoop.

"In desperation to get a new weapon, Gail flees Cornucopia. Cornucopia is its typical blood bath, as careers scavenge for items while those who have survived are far into the forest by now. The sky tonight will show us who's dead…"

We (my family and I) waited, huddled around that small TV, watching till night fell. Waiting to see who would be dead. Who would be alive. Night came.

"And here have the daily death stats, No-one from District 1. No-one from District 2. District 3- nada. Colin, the security robot from District 4. From District 5- Prak. From District 6 Loonquawl and Phouchg. No-one from District 7, Benjy and Frankie from District 8. Vroomfondel and Majikthise from District 9. Mr Posser and Oolon Colluphid have both died from District 10, and no-one from District 11 or 12.

"Handing it over to Suzanne and Colin for the betting and Sponsors information:"

"Thank-you, Adam. So Sue, who looks strong at this stage in the game."

"Well it's hard to tell Colin, but I'd say Jelts is looking tough, having killed two player all on his own."

"I know what you're saying, but what about Fenchurch? Taking out two tributes with one arrow."

"It's hard to tell Colin and, as we expected, an alliance between Fenchurch, Zaphod, Thor, Zarniwoop, and Jelts has been formed."

"But, Sue, what are your opinions on Colins death."

"Yes, a career being killed this early on is a surprise. I think it may have been because he is a security robot. But careers aside, lets take a look at the other contestants. Gail fled into the woods with no weapons, and may die without sponsors or luck. Also Dish of the Day, despite running around Cornucopia shouting comments like '_you know I taste amazing with_ _apple sauce, although I suggest a honey glaze would work_' and requesting to be eaten, does not have a weapon."

"Yes, it was very odd, but it appears the tributes ignored him throughout the day. Perhaps he has a strategy to survive."

"But weaponless tributes aside, what do you think of Ford? He managed to get into the centre of Cornucopia, and then flee straight into the forest. Salvaging a few supplies."

"True, but I think Tricia is a strong contender as she managed to take out Phouchg, and then made to the forest with some supplies."

"True, true, so let's think about those tributes who don't stand much of a chance. How about Arthur, who escaped Cornucopia with just a dagger."

"But then there's Marvin who made out with a spear and no food supplies."

"Yes, but it'll be who finds water that'll survive the next stage of the games."

"With no clear victors prevailing, it's still all to play for."

"So here is all the alive tributes in District order:

Fenchurch

Thor

Zarniwoop

Ford

Jelts

The Ruler of the Universe

Arthur

Trillian

Tricia

Gail

Dish of the Day

And Marvin!

So those are your living tributes people. Place bets, and sponsor them to provide them with weapons, equipment, medicine and food! And remember: May the Odds be Ever in your Favour."

"This is Sue and Collin, Hunger Games News. Over to you Adam."

**please feel some pity for your tribute and sponsor them in the reviews**


End file.
